Friday, August 6, 2010

I'm Going on Vacation!

"Where ya goin', Becky?" I can hear you asking. I can also hear you saying how cute and sexy and hilarious and smart I am, and I can only remind you that I am spoken for.

The answer to your query is Approximately, Nowhere. An intended visitation to our relatives in the Chicago area got flubbed and snubbed and re-dubbed and we are now heading to the thriving metropolis of Approximately, capital of Nowhere.

Actually we'll be be-bopping around Evansville, IN seeing the zoo and a minor league baseball game, and a mall or something, and then Indianapolis, IN seeing another zoo, and the Hard Rock Cafe, and a mall or something and then heading home.

So as though we could call the previous three posts a "hot streak" it has officially ended and I won't even be smoking hookah and not reporting on it like I have been... I'll just be not smoking hookah to begin with.

Love you though, and wish me luck,

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Detest Thinking Up Puns for Blog Titles

I know I did it a lot before. It was snappy. Gave you an idea of the flavor reviewed therein. But I hate puns. I fucking hate them.


I have a straight review of a real flavor of shisha! Doesn't that totally blow your mind? I can't believe it either.

Fantasia - Ace of Spades
In the box: *shredding guitar* Heh. So this is what I bought at Mezmerize in Bowling Green 2 days ago. Good on them for having Fantasia. I've heard only good things.
I know from the internet that Ace of Spades is supposed to be Fantasia's answer to Andes mints. However, at first whif, my friend and I got the smell of musky coffee. When I opened 'er up today, I guess it was kind of choco-minty. An Andes mint that splashed on some cologne for a hot sultry date, perhaps? Sounds sexy.
The cut is a medium, STICKY, Layalina-grade. Maybe finer than Layalina. I found a couple stems right off the bat. According to a recent forum on my new haunt, this really pisses some people off. But it's never been much of a thang for me. I just pitch 'em. *shrug* Fantasia doesn't just sit in syrup like my Laya does. The wetness is infused, thorough. Soooo gooooood. I dolled it out with my tongs, after trying to kind of scramble it in the baggie, because just dipping in and snagging some made for big goopy clumps - not desirable.
In the bowl: I definitely taste the mint more than I smell it. It's cool and refreshing on the inhale and the exhale. There's a smoky and mysterious aftertaste that is more burn than any flavor I know of. It's not harsh though.
I don't really get "Andes," or even chocolate really - a flavor which is kind of hard to distinguish even on its own in my experience - but by the same token I know I'm not smoking a mint flavor. It's mature and again, kind of musky. A hearty wood lodge mint off on a bear hunt with the boys. :D
I got buzzed on this! Right away and pretty nicely. I'm just not used to that, but it was pleasant. Clouds are fine, even with the wind in my face, and they were particularly swirly girly and pretty to look at. I was content to sit on my porch and read about Marie Antoinette and absorb the very nice day and puff puff puff puff puff...
My contentedness was a it short-lived however, because after about half the bowl a rather powerful headache came on. I don't blame the Fantasia for this entirely though - it was very hot, I was out of caffiene, it was HOT, and most of all I was smoking a whole bowl by myself which I basically never do. Just not an ideal smoking situation and not an ideal result. I can't fault the shisha for this reason. I am a scientist, and there were too many variables in the experiment.
star star star star star
Fantasia Ace of Spades: 5/5 stars
I can't fault this flavor for anything. The unfortunate circumstances surrounding my session can't scientifically be counted against the flavor, cut, and buzz. **Note: upon a second, indoor smoking I got all the good buzz and not of the headache. Proof that this flavor is solid gold.

Friday, July 23, 2010

If I Opened a Smoke Shop...

It would be about the hookah.
_ . Sure, I would sell incense, and really cool blankets, and Alice in Wonderland posters...
_ . But I wouldn't sell bon-- excuse me, water pipes. I wouldn't sell pieces or papers or porn.
_ . I would sell ACCESSORIES. Do you know how many smoke shops have hookah bowls? 1/3 I've been to in the past few weeks. I would sell hookahs (of course), and I would stock SO MUCH SHISHA. And there would be COUCHES all over. And a lounge in the back. I would have a refrigerator with wine, and orange juice, and iced coffee JUST for putting in your vase water because WHY NOT.
_ . I wouldn't have to card anyone just for walking in (maybe). The windows would not be blacked out.

_ . The last shop I went into was Mezmerize in Bowling Green, OH. And all things considered, it was really really nice. It was very clean, bright, wide open. They had a lot of brands of shisha there and more flavors of Hookah-Hookah than I think I've even seen online. But there was a list on the wall of "words that would get you kicked out" because they would give the implication that that $10 highlighter in the case was, in fact, an item of PARAPHERNALIA, as is this beautiful crafted glass mouse, and this funny looking paperweight, and that lamp. There was also a shrouded-off corner of adult videos.
_ . You can look right over in my Dislikes and see that I am a pot vegetarian (in like as I don't partake), and stoner culture rather annoys me, no offense. I don't have a problem with people/my friends that do get high nor do I have a problem with them doing it really, but the stereotype - and the few individuals I've met that fit it - get my knickers in a knot. Where I was comfortable in Mezmerize, and in 90% of the smoke shops I've been in despite the overwhelming dominance of barely-passing pieces, I don't like how hookah is an ill-represented afterthought in such places, and I detest how hookah is lumped in with marijuana culture by those who don't know what it's about.
_ . Profiling like that is why I have 2 friends that who'd love to smoke with me all the live-long day, but their parents can't know I (or they) have a hookah. It's why my mom about flipped her shit when I said the word, and I'm not technically allowed to smoke while I'm under her roof. People that fancy themselves (or want their parents to think) they are clean, above-the-table, and even downright prudes can and should be allowed to investigate hookah because it is safe, tasty, classy, social, and legal if you're of age. I don't think that shisha and ganja should be inextricably linked, and definitely not synonymous. And let people like me be the reason why!
_ . If I opened a smoke shop, it would be about hookah and nothing but the hookah. It would give shisha a good reputation, a clear picture of the history, tradition, and products. My lounge would not pump gangster metal, sell chicken fingers, and peddle weed out the back. My establishment would not be sketchy, just smoky. A hookah bar and shop for hookah snobs like me.

And scene.

Also? I want to learn how to indent here. Would it have to be an Html trick? Baaaalls do I hate the _ . buisiness.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Tay-kin care uh biz-ness

I applied, if you can call it that, to be a field rep for Sahara Smoke Co. They're a downright respectable Co, there! They are the producers of dear dicro Zia, of This Blog acclaim. Basically I'll be pestering you to buy a hookah and hookah accesories. But I'll give you coupon codes to do it, so it's not so bad.

I'm a little shaky on the exact details but from my limited experience with ordering, and their super nice support team that logs onto Skype for business hours, I'm expecting nothing but a positive experience. A work-from-home sort of job will be really fantastic I think. I'll put away the very little money I make and it'll follow me to and from school. Plus I'll spread hookah around and that's great.

See? Look at me. I'm blogging even when I start off with something very well contemplated to say and wind up watching CSI and taking an inordinate amount of time to write what I did remember to say. Pats for Becky! Who's trying her damndest to work for a living or something. I don't know.

Oh, and if you didn't catch my drift before, GO CHECK OUT SAHARA SMOKE DOT COM! GO RIGHT NOW!

Friday, July 2, 2010

I Have Something to Salute, Besides America

Don't get me wrong, America's great and all. But I wanted to take a moment and pay homage to the best li'l box of coals in the whole big hookah world... Chronic Hookah Instant-Light Coconut Charcoals! I found these beauties on . I ordered them with my first round of H-H tobacco and they have gotten me this far!! I know, I've had myriad hiati? *shudder*... I know, I've had several periods of dormancy and so maybe to you cynical blogosphere types think that over 8 months of loyal hookah-heating doesn't sound that impressive? But it friggin' is!

Chronic provides the low eco-impact of using gathered coconut husks of all things to make up their squares. They are a low-ash, slow-heat, and flavor-neutral coal. Furthermore they come in a handy dandy quick light option which is DA BOMB. I've never had a bad experience with them in terms of longevity and heat. They're pretty caustic as they're lighting, but you need chemicals to make a quick light light, so, *shrug* I love you Chronic Hookah! You're the best and I'm never going back.

In the coming days (or weeks, ugh) when my big Box'o'108 actually runs out, I'm going to order some shisha with it, using whatever meager funds I can scratch together at this financially desolate time of year, and I am deliberately avoiding Hookah-Hookah shisha. Not because I don't love it, no, but because I realize it's basically all I've ever talked about.

And if you didn't come to a hookah blog to read about hookah talk, I want to go on the record and say that the next time I see a wedding dress with a see-through bodice I'm gonna flip my shit. I am a liberal feminist sex-liking artsy type and I STILL get sick to my stomach when I hear a bride talk about how "sexy" she wants to look on her wedding day and how naked she will try to be in a ump-teen thousand dollar dress.


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Do you watch Hell's Kitchen?

It's one of the shows that my family sits down and watches together. It's normally pretty entertaining and it's not as over-dramatized as some reality gameshows out there and... I dunno, watching people get yelled at is enjoyable sometimes.

This year it's really awful though. The red team (formerly the girl's team until they got a guy that was going to be eliminated from the blue team) just HATES each other and they're all real real incompetent. So, they don't win, which makes them mad at each other, so they yell at each other, and they lose challenges... on and on and on. I don't want that negativity in my life. Even the winning team is complainers. And yet I watch.

At first I had a very poignant series of rhetorical questions to finish that up with but I'll be damned if I can't formulate it anymore. Whatevs. Peace.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Hey dere! Whatcha been dooin l8ly? (Updated, now with links)

  • _ Finding out that Blogger does that thing where if you hit "enter" in the subject line it publishes a blank post. I left many an e-mail account because of that inane business Blogger!
  • _ Lifetime Original Movies. Bad ones. I'm so sorry, brain cells.
  • _ Planning to get a Chinese Water Dragon! My rats are 2 years old and one has cancer. And I'm an over-organizer. You can't blame me for looking up prices & housing requirements, and sketching out the large enclosure I will build for a pet I don't have yet... especially when the critter's so darn pretty. Aaaand, I, uh, need the herpetology experience, yeah.
  • _ Making and varying cream cheese frosting... I'm so sorry, waist. I'm still trying to decide if it's better for me for it to be eaten with a food item vessel or consumed straight via tablespoon.
  • _ Trying my damndest to get out and about, fighting both restlessness and sloth. Walking is nice in the evenings, even during a Cincinnati summer.
  • _ Looking at Ecuador pictures constantly and missing that country like craaazy. Oh, you want to look at them too? Okay. Here's my Facebook albums un, deux, trois. Public links even!
  • _ Making a pretty complete list of commercials I can't stand and the inconruencies, annoyances, and frequency/timing issues that result in my distaste.
  • _ Inquiring after internship laces where I can play with big kitties, and/or slothes. (That's the British pronunciation, you know. "And the people did feast upon the lambs, and slothes, and carp... and fruit bats..." like.)
  • _ Not working, nor attending LCCC for chemistry, either, much to my chagrin. But it is what it is. I'm working the "Don't Panic" angle and it's going pretty swell, despite the pressure from my parents.
  • _ Not writing for the Nerdist empire, sadly. That makes my dream of befriending Chris Hardwick seem nigh impossible, but it does make me want to breathe new life into this anemic little blog of mine.
  • _ Not smoking hookah. Go figure.
ComFest is on my horizon, as is dog-sitting and other family-based money earnings. Whoo hoo!
You can bet your boots I'll bee hooking (hookah-ing?) in C-bus this weekend. Have faith in me, intarwubbians. I'll write to you when I'm not bleeding money on artsy things and booze.

Monday, May 31, 2010

**You Are Reading This 2 Weeks Ago**

Gone to the Galapagos, see you in two weeks!

Hm? Oh, the asteriks didn't actually transport you back in time? That's odd.

So hey! I went to Ecuador for 2 weeks and spent half of that time in the Galapagos! I didn't tell you then because I was too busy frantically packing and you're just the internet. I can't tell you now because I've been up for 48 hours. Even with my massive influx of equatorial vitamin D I just don't have the energy to give you proper freakout. I've told my stories many times today.

Pictures will all go onto Photobucket and then Facebook and they will be mind-boggling. I also want to give on official poo-poo to Flickr for making me sign up for another Yahoo account after I'd just dropped my old one and THEN only letting me upload 100MB and 2 videos worth. I have almost 1,000 high-quality (i.e. 1 MB or more each) pics and videos to get off this lappy before it dies, man! Plus one of my friends backed up her stuff so she could delete and re-fill a memory card. Bo. Gus.

Goodnight, Internet, I love you!!!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Tedano, Ryukyu, Ohio, Oh My!

I can add to my list of marketable skills: being sole run crew for a show with 5 hours practice time and a non-English speaking stage manager.
This weekend I made upwards of $90 pulling curtains for the Tedano Kai dance troupe from Okinawa. "Living Legend" dancers were part of this group man, and they were coming to where, Buttsquat, Ohio? I guess the Ohio-Okinawa Association was having their 15th anniversary or something and they got THESE GUYS. What an honor... for, you know, the people it meant something to.
The dances were, like techno music, all the exact same tempo and key. Unlike techno, however, the dances were [sometimes painfully] slow and often had many scenes.
What WAS cool were the elaborate costumes and makeup. It was incredibly theatrical and I was glad to be backstage for it. The quick-change from a princess to a demon? Bad. Ass. There was also a really neat dragon puppet who had basically a box for a head and ribbons for a body. I don't know much else of what was going on.

So, they brought their own stage manager and he's used to a.) having total control and b.) keying in a time and having the curtains fly in/out with the push of a button. I am not a button! And what with him changing his mind a lot there was, I think, no smooth runs of the show. In my original notes the instructions were to slowly close the curtain until the last dancer was off, or slowly raise the curtain to set the pace of the music. Well, that's all well and good until you're getting the small circles to speed it up EVERY time and eventually there was no point in doing it anything but full speed every time. *shrug*
The translator was a really nice guy, but he admitted to not speaking the Okinawan dialect and in terms of stagecraft he got in the way sometimes. I got pretty used to Mr. Stage Manager pointing at me and saying something equivalent to "go." Jim (translator) gave a lot of "wait" fingers that looked like "raise the curtains now" and thumbs-ups that meant, alternately, "you're fine" and "okay, go now." He also stood in my sight line more than once which is irksome. He gave me a hug when I left though so it's cool.
At the end of these meticulous, traditional, artistic dances, they did a free dance to "Hang On Sloopy" and all the people on headset died a little inside. Personally, it's like reason #4 that I didn't go to OSU. Why are you doing this to me, Grand Masters Chie Tamagusuku and Shizue Matayoshi? Why? Why are you allowing this to go on in your presence?
It was also one of those uncomfortably long jokes too. By which I mean the whole song. Songs are a joke for maybe the first chorus. Then people start to think you're insulting their intelligence. At least I did.

All in all they were very polite people. They bought us lunch, and gave me $10 to mostly sit around after paying their own way to get here. Hope they had a good time stateside!

Also, this is a curtain experience in which my hand were not ripped to bloody shreds. All in all I don't think it could have gotten much better.


Becky's Shisha Kitchen!
Recipies of Delicious Smoking
Much like the last time we met in this kitchen, I made a good-faith effort to use up all the flavors that I'd originally slapped on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper and said "No! Bad shisha! You are not licorice! Bad!" and shoved to the back of the drawer where all the rest of my broken dreams are held. Last time was a great repossession/success! This time was too. And it proved once and for all that
I am a better flavor tester than anyone currently working
for the Hookah-Hookah corporation.

Pomegranate, Really
Things I was keeping in mind: 7-Spice lost incredible degrees of anise with just time and air, I need a way to combat anise besides coolness (mint), FIE UPON YOU, ANISE.
The Mix: 1/2 Pomegranate, 1/2 Margarita
The Result: Oh man. Oh man oh man. This stuff is seriously delicious, y'all. It's flavorful, fruity, and somewhat sour. It's full bodied and a little sweet, but not candy sweet. You'd know this is a tobacco product, but it's so clearly a nice pomegranate taste too. Not overbearing, I mean to say. It's a rich flavor that speaks its flavor and its plant biology very eloquently. I held this smoke in for quite some time and wound up with a nice nicotine/O2-deprivation buzz. Whee!
Margarita, you and me are like this now, buddy. You're fruit's best friend. Here's to taking on Orange next.

Now get outta my kitchen.

TTFN, world!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Legend of Becky's Aneurysm

Okay, listen. I have already written a mile-long post about how Legend of the Seeker is an awful awful show, but I can't stop watching because, I dunno, I like rage. BUT NOW THEY ARE JUST TOYING WITH ME. I feel sorry for the sold-out soulless writer that has to come into pitch meetings (er whatever) and have some 5-Hour-Energy-upped producer tell them who has been well established as many years dead and will be making an appearance this episode.

I have completed 2 writing workshops and I have a grasp of what a storyline means and someone over there at the WB does NOT. Someone somewhere is writing for LotS and crying themselves to sleep every night after it's aired. Someone somewhere is coughing while they say who they write for. Every minutely interesting character they introduce gets killed before the end credits, and every seemingly challenging plot twist gets unwound for them happenstancially and any remotely difficult choice they have make gets, again totally without their input, almost instantly made for them THANK GOODNESS. There is no character development among the main characters for these reasons. None. Even my favorite character, Cara, who is for all intents and purposes the voice of The Viewing Audience makes her points of contention several episodes after America has been wondering the same thing and goes along with whatever Richard, or Zed, or Kahlan who she doesn't even like says anyway.

Empty threat warning: if the next episode is as bad as this one, Seeker will have finally lost me and that means that even the ironic viewers will have abandoned them before the season finale. On my half-pipe of awfulness, it will have cruised past "So Bad It's Good" and gone straight for "I Honestly Can No Longer Bring Myself to Spend My Time This Way.

The whole world is drunkytown right now. Blackout Thursday and all. Last day of classes. *sigh* I have work tomorrow though. $10/hour to pull curtains. Not too shabby.
Speaking of work, I did NOT sort screws today, I instead added a marketable skill to my repertoire and that is staining wood like nobody's business. Score.


Al Fakher - Grape With Mint Flavor
In the box: Smells very sweet. Very sticky. Cut is virtually H-H caliber but the molasses is so abundant and so sticky that it's prone to clumping and could be an uneven burning hazard if you don't aerate it at any time.
In the bowl: Buh! Delicious! Deeeliiiiciooouus. Very sweet, kind of sour, smell stays intense through smoking. I did not think mint would go with grape at all, but it does and it has a cool flavor that really compliments the fruityness. It's not a mild or possibly fermented grape like White Grape is, it's very intense. Well, it's candy-ish frankly and that's bound to turn off some die-hard, in-it-for-the-tobacco people. Fair enough. But if your shisha drawer reminds you of Gumdrop Pass like mine does, Grape with Mint Flavor will feel right at home, and your hookah will be a happy one. I make another advisement to turn or aerate your bowl after your coals have made a pass around. There is viable shisha under there, y'all! I'm never in it for no 45-minute session. My hookah nights are 2 hours or more. Coals I'll go through a million of, but I'm pretty stingy with my tobacco. I take it as far as it will go, to say the least.
star star star star star
Al Fakher Grape with Mint Flavor: 4.75/5 stars.
If you want to be smoking a cigarette and all you have is a hookah, this is not what you pack. But I'll be damned if it's not one of the tastiest ones I've had.

Good job, self

I've been a pretty decent absentee blogger lately. When I logged in today I even found a half-finished draft titled "Straight-to-the-Internet Post." HILARIOUS IRONY. Hilarirony.

and I will be spending exponentially more time on the internet starting tonight after my dance show. That will be a video I can hopefully post!

Meanwhile, my foster dogs, who are totally lesbionic for each other, have stopped wrestling and are now currently on top of each other/the couch and silently biting at each others' open mouths. I didn't even think animals without lips could make out. I'm third-wheeling the hell out of this living room right now.

See you all tonight with the first actual shisha review in, what, months?
I have to go sort screws or something equivalently mundane at my drama dept. job, where I'm normally put to use playing with saws and telling other people how they are building it wrong. *gasp* A DOWNSIDE to the end of the academic year! Oh, Pessimism, I knew I could count on you.

Also, I applied to be a contributor to the website of the previously-extolled nerd, bloggist, and purveyor of sexytimes Chris Hardwick. was once just a blog and will now soon be a blogging empire, the likes of which I would happily build pyramids for until the end of my malnourished, overworked days.
Wish me luck! Or, quite possibly, HI CHRIS.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Things That Mike Has Googled

Here's to them showing up next time, honey.
  • Battletits Galactibutt
  • Legend of the Buttdick
  • Poostallion
  • Wangstallion
  • TiggleDickles
  • Becky hates fun, wah wah wah
  • UPDATE: "chunky butter crab nipple angular rotary tesseract sword buttstick"
  • UPDATE: "kronk-donkulous"
Have a good day. I've been having several, here on spring break. As a matter of awesome, my 21-ness allowed me to take advantage of a liter of Bailey's on sale for $9.99. The price was cut by more than I spent on it. *silent fist pump of victory*

As a matter of not much awesome, no real hookah news. Win some lose some.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Laaayla.... er, Laaaya.... Layna? Lanya?

Oh. Well, I forgot that I reviewed my Layalina flavor already and so the title of this post was going to refer to it. But now I see that I've done Cappuccino already, but I like the title so darn much that I'm keeping it!

Okay, plan B, *shuffle rifle shuffle* AHA! Here we go! A nice disappointing flavor to share with you all as a warning.

HookaH-HookaH - Orange
In the box: Really stuck my snoot in and got some mellow citrus. Orange citrus? I suppose sooo...
In the bowl: OH COME ON. This flavor was WEAK. I shouldn't use caps there because yelling is not what this flavor has anything to do with. I think the only distinct orange I was getting was the bit of orange juice I put in the vase (too many variables for a first try, I know, but whatevs). On the whole, it seems as though the tobacco content could be noticeably greater, but the flavor is so unforgivably less, and it burns to harshness pretty fast. Of course, that last qualm could have been because the smoke was so poor that I lit a whole other coal before the first one had burned down any.
I don't know what this flavor's problem is. Hookah-Hookah is clearly one of the most flavorful brands on the market, even sacrificing tobacco leaf cuts with any tobacco in them for cuts that are so neutral in flavor they can completely transform them into any magical concoction they can, well, concoct. Even in my limited yet rapidly growing experience I understand and have been led to believe that the fruits of H-H are the most rambunctious, true, and lip-smacking flavors on the market. So here we are faced with one of the most classic and traditional fruit flavors there is, and Hookah-Hookah's submission is a nonexistant, non-smoking, non-pleasing fluke of an embarrassment bowl? What gives, says I. What. Gives.
I guess I've been keeping in mind how mortified I was to sample 7-Spice right out of the bowl, and how enlivened I was to revisit it later and find that by some alchemy it had transformed into the shisha I thought I was buying. I've been keeping it in mind, but what I'm also keeping in mind is that fact that I opened up my Orange and mixed it with things quite a while ago. It's been exposed to air or whatever other transformative variable would have been working on 7-Spice and it's this drivel! And that's not to say "exposed to air" as in like "I lost the lid and it's been drying out for months," I just mean I broke the seal. I'm confused. Confused and sad. Blastula. (That's a developmental bio term, but it's also me making a curse word longer than it currently exists in common usage.)
Hookah-Hookah Orange: star star star star star
3/4 of a star for, I guess, the only buzz that one hit of H-H shisha has ever given me?

Chocolate + Orange = Slammer!
1/2 Orange + 1/4 Acai Berry + 1/4 Margarita = The Everything Fruit!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Actually Lazy Sunday

I feel, dear readers, that I have not been making good on the part of my tagline what says "whatever else I have to say." Verily, posts have been few and far between, and compared to ow I normally talk they've been downright curt when they do come around.

If your one of those 4 people that reads this blog and just doesn't comment, I apologize to you. It has been this way because all of the interesting and colorful stuff I've had to say lately has been, well, a total downer. I've been having a shitty semester. Really shitty. For a number of reasons. Are my problems complex and therefore kind of interesting? I guess. Are the ways in which I'd go about relating them colorful? Most yes. But is this a freaking Livejournal where half the people that come across would think that I'm positively flooding my keyboard with wristblood while I write these rants and cut myself? Probably. And I don't want to present/propagate that image, and I don't want to bore or get you down, so online I try to keep it upbeat. And if upbeatedness is not to be had that day then I won't write much of anything.

WHICH brings me around to saying that this weekend has been pretty damn good, and very relaxing, and super freakin' snowy so I'm in the mood to charm the pants off you with a couple blend reviews.

Becky's Shisha Kitchen!
Recipies of Delicious Smoking

Had this one in the book for a while, actually. I'm starting my good-faith effort to use up flavors that I bought because they sounded like not-licorice and they turned out to be straight up licorice. Starting with the 7-Spice which may I make you aware, has changed drastically in smell from the first time I opened it, and it shows in these blends.

(a la Aladdin introducer [voiced by Robin Williams I bet you didn't know])
Arabian Iiiiice....
I mixed 1/4 Nakhla mint, 1/4 Hookah-Hookah Spearmint, and 1/2 extremely non-anise smelling H-H 7-Spice to synthesize what I hope will be the most exotic Popsicle ever.
THE RESULT: This mix is simultaneously cold and smoky. Dare I say it is perfect? I may darest. There's something so balanced and non-creepy crawly I get about the 7-Spice this time... do you know what I mean when I say creepy crawly? How licorice in any considerable amount just oozes over your tongue like asphalt on a hot day? Yeah, well, it's not there. Mint is, I suppose, the perfect foil for anise, though I may use a little less in the future. It's a powerful ally, you know?
1/4 Mint + 1/4 Spearmint + 1/2 7-Spice = Arabian Iiiice! (Like Arabian daaays...
more often than not, are hotter than hot, in a lot of good waaaaaaaays...) *sigh*

The Everything Fruit
You know how fruitcake is called fruitcake, and it kind of tastes like there's some fruit present, but if you're munching on a store bought one (god knows why) you realize that the only fruity thing about it are these Gummy Bear looking bits that don't even taste like fruit themselves but are closer to Spice Drops? Yeah, I guess this mix is like that. I wanted something fruity when I mixed 1/2 H-H orange, 1/4 Acai Berry, and 1/4 Margarita, and I can't say I didn't get it.
THE RESULT: It is well balanced if nondescript. I thought that the sour Margarita would actually be too much and it's not at all. It's a different kind of nondescript than the Slammer I wrote about a ways back, but this wishy-washiness is far superior. The likeness does bring me about to an observation, though, as I am a scientist, and that conclusion is: ORANGE IS A NOTHING FLAVOR. I haven't tried it alone, but I guess I should, because in a company so well versed in fruit flavors, I went on trust that H-H's Orange would knock me out of the park, but it's fairly nonexistant in both of these mixes. Nothing says, let alone screams, "orange" and it was half of the bowl, you know? The sour gets even a bit lost for my taste, but I'm kind of okay with that because I added Margarita in the hopes that it would be an assimilated accent. I'm getting mostly Acai Berry but that's fine, because I love that flavor.
I do really like this mix though. I mean, A LOT. But I couldn't say why I like it since typically I criticize blandiness. But I guess when you compare blandy fruit and blandy sour you get inexplicable good. *shrug*
1/2 Orange + 1/4 Acai Berry + 1/4 Margarita = The Everything Fruit!

Now get outta my kitchen.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Firsties and Lasties!

Like, the first and last day of the month.

Is there any way to assure having "lasties" in a comments section? I would say invariably no. I guess it might happen by chance... but in terms of guaranteeing it? I'd say naw way.

Layalina - Cappuccino
In the box: This shisha actually does come in a box; a clever little matchbox with a bag of WOW. WET. THIS STUFF IS WET. This tobacco is packaged in copious amounts of crimson molasses. I am slightly dismayed that once open, there's no self-sustaining way to be air tight, but this smells exactly like its namesake and with the ridiculous amount of molasses I'm not too worried about it shriveling up anyway. The cut is, I'd say, somewhere between Hookah-Hookah and Nahkla, and it was admittedly kind of hard to spread around. I felt as though I was kind of lumping it into the bowl instead of the all-important "sprinkle" technique, and as I'll touch on later this showed in the uneven burning.
In the bowl: You know what the best idea I've ever had is? Drinking hot chocolate while smoking this shisha. This tobacco is incredibly true to taste and the flavor is strong! Like everything I've ever wanted out of a H-H blend! And so, holing up in my new common-area-turned-hookah-lounge sipping powdered hot cocoa was the best compliment this shisha could get. And though it was delicious, the lumpy cut and the super thick molasses made for a kind of half-and half burning in the bowl. Like, it tasted fine the first time the coal(s) went around, and on my H-H bowls I'm used to making a second pass, maybe with a little turning of the, if you will, soil. However, with this one, it got around once and there was this nearly instantaneous harsh ashiness. I took the foil of to turn it over and it was completely fried on the top and completely pristine on the bottom.
It's economical, in a way, to turn over the shisha in your bowl and effectively have another bowl to smoke without taking more from the box. I still don't like that very much though. I'm not a big fan of the consistency of this Layalina even though the flavor and smell are so top notch I can't even describe. It's just a thing that bothers me. Like, my H-H bowls go for a long time, and the tobacco isn't too wet and it's super fine and it dries out evenly and if I'm really scrounging or if I burned it a bit along the way, I can turn it over with the poker on my tongs. It is still "fluffy" at this stage. It's not cemented together and absolutely singed all around. Layalina came up in sticky globs with a black top and that bright red underside and I smoked what I could and added a pinch to be safe. It wasn't the best texture, but it was a total crowd pleaser. And Becky pleaser. Whoop whoop!
star star star star star
Layalina Cappuccino: 4.25/5 stars

My birthday is coming up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does that mean I will have more time to smoke? Oh god no. But we'll see how the other variables treat me.
Tra la la...

Friday, January 1, 2010


In case you haven't noticed, I'm at home again and nobody wants to smoke with me. Poooooop.

I'm going to Oberlin tomorrow! I like it there a lot instead of hating it there! It's where my boyfriend lives! Whee!

This is basically just a shoutout to my lady McLane, who reads this blog very diligently but can never comment cause she's real real bad at the Internet. Pah ha! She's the best at other things though, so, I guess we don't have to make fun of her for too many days.

Also, I just don't care about the Bearcats and how they're failing. Everyone on my current Facebook feed does. Call me a bad Cincinnatian if you want to, I guess... But MY team is in the playoffs right now. WHO DEY. (That's another shoutout to McLane, whose "team" lost more games this season than they did in the previous two. And that's the real advantage to her not being able to comment here.)

Poit. You know. It's what Pinky says besides "Narf."