Saturday, July 24, 2010

I Detest Thinking Up Puns for Blog Titles

I know I did it a lot before. It was snappy. Gave you an idea of the flavor reviewed therein. But I hate puns. I fucking hate them.


I have a straight review of a real flavor of shisha! Doesn't that totally blow your mind? I can't believe it either.

Fantasia - Ace of Spades
In the box: *shredding guitar* Heh. So this is what I bought at Mezmerize in Bowling Green 2 days ago. Good on them for having Fantasia. I've heard only good things.
I know from the internet that Ace of Spades is supposed to be Fantasia's answer to Andes mints. However, at first whif, my friend and I got the smell of musky coffee. When I opened 'er up today, I guess it was kind of choco-minty. An Andes mint that splashed on some cologne for a hot sultry date, perhaps? Sounds sexy.
The cut is a medium, STICKY, Layalina-grade. Maybe finer than Layalina. I found a couple stems right off the bat. According to a recent forum on my new haunt, this really pisses some people off. But it's never been much of a thang for me. I just pitch 'em. *shrug* Fantasia doesn't just sit in syrup like my Laya does. The wetness is infused, thorough. Soooo gooooood. I dolled it out with my tongs, after trying to kind of scramble it in the baggie, because just dipping in and snagging some made for big goopy clumps - not desirable.
In the bowl: I definitely taste the mint more than I smell it. It's cool and refreshing on the inhale and the exhale. There's a smoky and mysterious aftertaste that is more burn than any flavor I know of. It's not harsh though.
I don't really get "Andes," or even chocolate really - a flavor which is kind of hard to distinguish even on its own in my experience - but by the same token I know I'm not smoking a mint flavor. It's mature and again, kind of musky. A hearty wood lodge mint off on a bear hunt with the boys. :D
I got buzzed on this! Right away and pretty nicely. I'm just not used to that, but it was pleasant. Clouds are fine, even with the wind in my face, and they were particularly swirly girly and pretty to look at. I was content to sit on my porch and read about Marie Antoinette and absorb the very nice day and puff puff puff puff puff...
My contentedness was a it short-lived however, because after about half the bowl a rather powerful headache came on. I don't blame the Fantasia for this entirely though - it was very hot, I was out of caffiene, it was HOT, and most of all I was smoking a whole bowl by myself which I basically never do. Just not an ideal smoking situation and not an ideal result. I can't fault the shisha for this reason. I am a scientist, and there were too many variables in the experiment.
star star star star star
Fantasia Ace of Spades: 5/5 stars
I can't fault this flavor for anything. The unfortunate circumstances surrounding my session can't scientifically be counted against the flavor, cut, and buzz. **Note: upon a second, indoor smoking I got all the good buzz and not of the headache. Proof that this flavor is solid gold.

Friday, July 23, 2010

If I Opened a Smoke Shop...

It would be about the hookah.
_ . Sure, I would sell incense, and really cool blankets, and Alice in Wonderland posters...
_ . But I wouldn't sell bon-- excuse me, water pipes. I wouldn't sell pieces or papers or porn.
_ . I would sell ACCESSORIES. Do you know how many smoke shops have hookah bowls? 1/3 I've been to in the past few weeks. I would sell hookahs (of course), and I would stock SO MUCH SHISHA. And there would be COUCHES all over. And a lounge in the back. I would have a refrigerator with wine, and orange juice, and iced coffee JUST for putting in your vase water because WHY NOT.
_ . I wouldn't have to card anyone just for walking in (maybe). The windows would not be blacked out.

_ . The last shop I went into was Mezmerize in Bowling Green, OH. And all things considered, it was really really nice. It was very clean, bright, wide open. They had a lot of brands of shisha there and more flavors of Hookah-Hookah than I think I've even seen online. But there was a list on the wall of "words that would get you kicked out" because they would give the implication that that $10 highlighter in the case was, in fact, an item of PARAPHERNALIA, as is this beautiful crafted glass mouse, and this funny looking paperweight, and that lamp. There was also a shrouded-off corner of adult videos.
_ . You can look right over in my Dislikes and see that I am a pot vegetarian (in like as I don't partake), and stoner culture rather annoys me, no offense. I don't have a problem with people/my friends that do get high nor do I have a problem with them doing it really, but the stereotype - and the few individuals I've met that fit it - get my knickers in a knot. Where I was comfortable in Mezmerize, and in 90% of the smoke shops I've been in despite the overwhelming dominance of barely-passing pieces, I don't like how hookah is an ill-represented afterthought in such places, and I detest how hookah is lumped in with marijuana culture by those who don't know what it's about.
_ . Profiling like that is why I have 2 friends that who'd love to smoke with me all the live-long day, but their parents can't know I (or they) have a hookah. It's why my mom about flipped her shit when I said the word, and I'm not technically allowed to smoke while I'm under her roof. People that fancy themselves (or want their parents to think) they are clean, above-the-table, and even downright prudes can and should be allowed to investigate hookah because it is safe, tasty, classy, social, and legal if you're of age. I don't think that shisha and ganja should be inextricably linked, and definitely not synonymous. And let people like me be the reason why!
_ . If I opened a smoke shop, it would be about hookah and nothing but the hookah. It would give shisha a good reputation, a clear picture of the history, tradition, and products. My lounge would not pump gangster metal, sell chicken fingers, and peddle weed out the back. My establishment would not be sketchy, just smoky. A hookah bar and shop for hookah snobs like me.

And scene.

Also? I want to learn how to indent here. Would it have to be an Html trick? Baaaalls do I hate the _ . buisiness.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Tay-kin care uh biz-ness

I applied, if you can call it that, to be a field rep for Sahara Smoke Co. They're a downright respectable Co, there! They are the producers of dear dicro Zia, of This Blog acclaim. Basically I'll be pestering you to buy a hookah and hookah accesories. But I'll give you coupon codes to do it, so it's not so bad.

I'm a little shaky on the exact details but from my limited experience with ordering, and their super nice support team that logs onto Skype for business hours, I'm expecting nothing but a positive experience. A work-from-home sort of job will be really fantastic I think. I'll put away the very little money I make and it'll follow me to and from school. Plus I'll spread hookah around and that's great.

See? Look at me. I'm blogging even when I start off with something very well contemplated to say and wind up watching CSI and taking an inordinate amount of time to write what I did remember to say. Pats for Becky! Who's trying her damndest to work for a living or something. I don't know.

Oh, and if you didn't catch my drift before, GO CHECK OUT SAHARA SMOKE DOT COM! GO RIGHT NOW!

Friday, July 2, 2010

I Have Something to Salute, Besides America

Don't get me wrong, America's great and all. But I wanted to take a moment and pay homage to the best li'l box of coals in the whole big hookah world... Chronic Hookah Instant-Light Coconut Charcoals! I found these beauties on . I ordered them with my first round of H-H tobacco and they have gotten me this far!! I know, I've had myriad hiati? *shudder*... I know, I've had several periods of dormancy and so maybe to you cynical blogosphere types think that over 8 months of loyal hookah-heating doesn't sound that impressive? But it friggin' is!

Chronic provides the low eco-impact of using gathered coconut husks of all things to make up their squares. They are a low-ash, slow-heat, and flavor-neutral coal. Furthermore they come in a handy dandy quick light option which is DA BOMB. I've never had a bad experience with them in terms of longevity and heat. They're pretty caustic as they're lighting, but you need chemicals to make a quick light light, so, *shrug* I love you Chronic Hookah! You're the best and I'm never going back.

In the coming days (or weeks, ugh) when my big Box'o'108 actually runs out, I'm going to order some shisha with it, using whatever meager funds I can scratch together at this financially desolate time of year, and I am deliberately avoiding Hookah-Hookah shisha. Not because I don't love it, no, but because I realize it's basically all I've ever talked about.

And if you didn't come to a hookah blog to read about hookah talk, I want to go on the record and say that the next time I see a wedding dress with a see-through bodice I'm gonna flip my shit. I am a liberal feminist sex-liking artsy type and I STILL get sick to my stomach when I hear a bride talk about how "sexy" she wants to look on her wedding day and how naked she will try to be in a ump-teen thousand dollar dress.